The Band Wagon keeps on rollin'

Hey folks!  It's me - I'm back!!  Well my little breakdown on Friday night actually kicked me into gear.  I didn't make it to my trainer session on Saturday because the dryer died Thursday night and they called Saturday morning to say they were delivering the new one Saturday between 11 and 3.  So that was a really boring 4 hour stretch where I decided to clean the house like a maniac. 

I organized the pantry - threw out all the crap food I can't eat.  I cleaned the fridge and did the same.  Casey is being forced to eat better becasue of my band too - trust me, it won't hurt him.

We went for Mexican food yesterday and I had ceviche.  It's one of my favorites, and it's really good for you.  Basically pico de gallo with fish in it.  I could eat fish all day.  Then we went to Lowe's to buy more stuff to organize/clean up the house.  I was thinking - I ALWAYS push the cart when we shop.  Before, it was so I could have something to kind of lean on when my back inevitably started to hurt.  Well, I still push the cart, but I don't NEED it anymore.  I can walk all day without back pain.  Oh, and I never have to get up and pee in the middle of the night anymore (is that TMI?).  I think those are two more NSV's!!  Wouldn't you agree??

Last night I used my Emerilware Steamer and made cauliflower and broccoli and Casey grilled some steak.  I LOVE steak, but I ate a tiny bit (about 3 ounces) and gave him the rest of mine.  Then I finished off with my DELISH cauliflower.  I feel like I am having so much more fun in the kitchen figuring out how to cook band-friendly.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks to you guys for being supportive and letting me know when I'm being silly!!  You are the best!  Happy Monday!!

Excercise and the shame spiral - my story of self sabotage.

Ok.  So I did my first 2 work outs with my trainer on Wednesday and Thursday.  Alex is awesome.  She's not a yeller or a pusher (too much) but she knows how to encourage.  I actually found myself pushing myself harder than I imagined.  She would tell me to do a set of 12 and I would say "No, I can make it to 15."  Who the heck do I think I am???  LOL!  My stomach was pretty sore on Thursday at work, and I almost cancelled my workout that night.  But I knew that would not be the right thing to do.  So I went and worked out and I have felt great all day until........

It was a friend's birthday and we got off work early, so we went out.  Mistake #1.  I broke every band rule there is I think.  I made a bad food choice, I ate too fast, I ate too much, I didn't chew enough AND I drank while I was eating!!  Holy schneikes Batman!!  So now I am in my shame spiral.  I was driving home thinking I am so stupid and what if I stretched my pouch.  I would be like the first idiot in history to stretch an empty pouch.


UGH!  I do not like myself right now...and I usually LOVE myself.  Someone kick me please.


But I will be back on the band wagon tomorrow.  Another work out session at noon.  Sorry for disappointing my supporters.  (Hanging my head now...)

Good night kiddies.  Tomorrow is a better day.

Weigh In Wednesday

Lost 0 pounds since last Wednesday.  I don't want to talk about it...

I have my first session with the trainer tonight.  I'm hoping this will kick start some weight loss.  I was supposed to go last night but we were under tornado warning and neither of us thought it was a smart idea to be out and about.  I really get a good vibe from her (Alex, for future reference.)  I guess we will see how I feel about her at 7:00 tonight when the session is over!!  LOL!

I use Daily Plate to track calories, and it says at my height and weight with a sedentary lifestyle that I should be at 1280 calories a day to average 3 pounds loss per week. I am starting to think they made this number up out of thin air.  I know I wasn't eating that many calories on my pre-op, and I wasn't losing 3 pounds per week.  Is this too many calories?  Good grief...I just don't know.  What about protein? How much should I be taking in daily?  I think I am a little lost at to what my next steps should be.

But I was just 4 weeks post op yesterday...so I know I need to be patient.  I just wish the scale would move down a little bit to boost my spirits.  UGH.

I did get good news.  My mom is coming to visit next month and she's bringing my niece.  Then a couple days after they come, my dad and brother will join us.  It will  be so good to see everyone!!  I haven't seen my parents since May of 2009.

That's Natalee.  She's awesome!! 

Well, off to deal with some more ridiculous work stuff!  Happy Wednesday everyone!  Kisses...

NSV and GO STEELERS!!!

Saturday night I was getting ready for chill out time with Casey.  We were going to watch all the DVR stuff from the week that we hadn't had time to catch up on (and snuggle.)  Well I couldn't find my yoga (read: fat) pants, so I went digging in the closet for something else to lounge around in.  I picked up this really cute pair of sleep shorts that I bought in 2008 for a trip to my parents' house.  Now, the last time I put these on, they barely fit over my hips and they were so tight I took them off in fear of busting them at the seams.  Well, low and behold I put them on and they not only fit, but they were loose enough for me to be comfy in!!!  Are you kidding!!!  This is my first NSV!!  AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! 

Can you tell I am excited?

I refused to take them off yesterday.  I'm not usually one to stay in my PJs all day, but I was just too happy to be in them.  So I did housework, and then watched the football game all in my cutie pie sleep shorts! 

I graduated HS outside of Pittsburgh, so I love to see my Steelers win a big game!  Then after the game I chatted with one of my HS friends who is doing weight watchers.  We decided to be accountability partners, and we are going to share our Weigh in Wednesday results with each other for motivation.  I'm excited about that.

Anyway, just had to share.  Happy Monday (if that's even possible.)  Kisses....

It's WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!

I am not really excited about this - I just like exclamation marks.  So I weighed myself and I have GAINED 3 pounds since I started solids.  WTF, WTH, WIGNIGO?  I made that last one up, and I think you should all use it...if you can figure out what it means...LOL!

I am happy to be off liquids.  And admittedly I have been eating some stuff I probably shouldn't be.  I had 3/4 of an enchilada on Tuesday and 11 shrimp last night. 

Oh, when I went to the doctor about my crazy non-chicken pox rash, they could not find my pulse to take my blood pressure.  I had been feeling wonky and suddenly I thought maybe my BP was too low.  I have not taken my pills in a few days and the wonkyness went away.  I'm gonna go back on them and see what happens and if the wonkyness comes back, I will have to go back to the doctor.  I would like it if I could not take them anymore. 

I feel like I have some restriction.  I mean, I was pretty full after my 3/4 of an enchilada, and before surgery I would have inhaled the whole plate.  I have been having tuna salad and fruit for lunch and it fills me up.  I like seeing how little I can eat and feel full.  It makes me feel like a skinny chick!!

I called the gym today to see about setting up to have some trainer sessions.  It's $25 for 30 minute sessions, and they have a deal for 12 sessions for $250.  So, I think I'm gonna start ASAP.  She is supposed to call me back for a consult.  I am still having little twinges in my port area, so I have some concerns about that.  And I'm gonna have to explain that.  I'd hate to push it and end up hurting myself or my band.  That would suck.  But I am in the mood to push myself.  I have sooooooo much energy.  My entire office staff is ready to move me out of the office into the plant.  I was running around  doing leg kicks out to the side on Monday.  LOL.  I think I may be insane.

So it's big time now.  Time to start being serious.  I am making chicken with artichokes and sun dried tomatoes tonight.  Weighing my food and sticking to the rules...check!  And I need to drink more water.  What are the rules about how long before and after meals you can drink???  I have heard 30 minutes and I have heard one hour.  Guess I need to email the doctor.

Happy Wednesday everyone...we're half way to the weekend!!

Just sayin...

So first I have to vent...I don't understand people some times.  I'll give you a little back ground.  My parents had their own business when I was growing up.  They worked really hard to give us a great childhood, and even though I didn't always appreciate them then, I know they always had our best interests in mind.  That being said, my brother was born when I was 6 and a lot of my childhood after that revolved around being a caregiver for him.  I paid a lot of consequences for his stupid kid stuff, and it might not have been fair, but I love him so much I don't care (anymore...lol).

So anyway,  2010 was a tough year.  My brother's wife left him and he is now a single dad of my 4 year old niece.  He is an awesome father.  They live in the mid-west, so I don't get to see them too often and that bums me out.  I found out last night that his ex-mother-in-law had the FREAKIN' NERVE to tell him that his ex-wife misses her daughter, but not him.   WHO SAYS SH*T LIKE THAT???

I mean, seriously...what kind of stupid heartless person would say that to someone who is just trying to make it as a single parent, and is still healing from a divorce that completely blindsided him??  I want to fly out there and beat the crap out of her.

Ok.  I'm done with that rant.  So now for a goal-setting moment.  My mom told me last night that her parents are flying out for Memorial Day to visit them.  I haven't had the best relationship with this set of grandparents.  They are continually calling us fat and making comments about our weight (me, my brother, my husband.)   When my Granny asked to see my wedding ring, she didn't say it was beautiful she looked at it and said " Wow, your fingers are fat..."  It was so bad a few years ago when we were on vacation in NC that we started calling our annual family vacation "Fat Camp"  LMAO!!  I love Fat Camp, and even when I lose weight I still want all vacations to be Fat Camp.

I digress...So I was thinking about going out for Memorial Day too just to rub my weight-loss in their faces (mature, I know.)  I want to be down to 275 for the trip.  I now have 19 weeks to lose 51 pounds.  That comes out to 2.68 pounds per week.  Totally manageable!!  After that my next goal will be to get down to 260 which would get me out of the "Super Obese" category..LOL!!  260 is also the last weight I know I was before I got married.  That would be awesome.  I obviously want to be a more in-shape, more toned version of myself at 260, but 260 sounds good!!

So off I go into the wild blue yonder...happy Thursday everyone!

I throw myself at your mercy...

I know, I know.  I have been a bad blogger.  I can't believe it's been over 2 weeks since my surgery.  It really has flown by.  Now this last week on liquids is another story.  I don't think it will ever end.

So let's go back to where I left off....

Surgery was easy.  I am minorly in love with Dr. Martinez.  I think he and I had a nice little moment in the OR when we were discussing Mexican music....that may have been my imagination or the anesthesia, so don't tell Casey.  Like I said, I went back to the hotel the night of the surgery and I went back in to the clinic for them to check me over the next day.  Then on Thursday morning we went to the airport and came home.  I did end up paying for an extra seat on our Southwest flight so we could have the whole row to ourselves.  This is THE BEST money I ever spent.  That would have been a long 8 hours jammed in a row with someone else.  Seriously, if you are going to travel for surgery spend the extra at least on your flight home.  It is more than worth it!!  And Southwest was awesome - they let me preboard and sold me the extra seat at the discount fare I originally paid.  They have made me a customer for life!! 

I was so glad to get home and see my babies.  And they were zonked from all the play time they had at the kennel, so we pretty much rested over the weekend. 

That's Buddy sleeping on my pillow!!  LOL.  He's so cute!

On Sunday I didn't want to put ANYTHING in my mouth.  I mean serioulsy I had no desire to even drink water.  Casey kept telling me I needed to drink, but of course I know everything and no one is the boss of me!!  Needless to say Monday morning when I got up to get ready for work, I was a HOT MESS!!

I almost passed out in the shower, and then I thought I was going to throw up.  I didn't puke, but I heaved and basically let out a huge burp.  I think it was just the gas, and once I burped I felt better.  But when I thought I was going to throw up I was praying and scared.  I learned my lesson.  I have been a good girl since then. 

I also have come down with pityriasis rosea.  It started before the surgery, and I thought it was just my nerves making me itchy.  Turns out it's a virus like chicken pox, and I have SUPER itchy red bumps all over my torso, thighs and biceps.  I kinda feel like God is playing a joke on me!!  Not enough to have surgery, but to be itching like I rolled in poison ivy too???  For real??  I went to my PCP last Wednesday and she said there's really nothing to be done and I just have to wait 4-6 weeks for it to go away.  Ok, if you say so.  I may not have any skin left after clawing it off for a month, but whatever you say, you are the medical professional.

Basically I have just been working and hanging out at home itching.  I have been a little tender in my port site - some days are worse than others.  I was not hungry at all till about day 12.  Which was this past Saturday.  I know now that I am going to have to really watch myself on the weekends.  That is traditionally when Casey and I drive around and we always seem to be eating something.  So I think I was miserable on Sunday while we were out just becasue NORMALLY we would stop and eat out somewhere.  Well, "Normal" is going to have to change for me, right?

I am ready to get past 21 days so I can start eating regular food again, working my band and finally get back to doing some exercise.  I want to see about setting up some sessions with the trainer at the gym so he can give me some input about how to tone and strengthen while I'm losing. 

OH!!  I forgot to even say - I lost 9 pounds in the first 8 days after surgery.  I haven't lost any more since I went on to full liquids, but I think it is becasue I'm drinking Ensure for meal replacement and it has way more carbs than I would like, but it's keeping me from having no energy and I need that right now.  Dr. Miranda told me not to stress on losing right now anyway - the liquids phase is about healing, not losing.  I can live with that.  I mean, I didn't GET fat in 3 weeks, so I know it's not going away that fast!!